I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
