Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
