she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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