Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found puke in my bra..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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