am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
