whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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