so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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