Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
