Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So gin and wine won't be happening again
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
