lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
