yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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