fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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