i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
