But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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