have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
