she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
