i just google imaged poop.
I am midnight drunk by noon
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
