She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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