I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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