Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
