How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
