no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
