took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
