I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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