New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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