So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
