GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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