i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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