You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
