that's an acceptable place to lick
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
