The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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