So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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