I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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