If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
