Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
