I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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