Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
