bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
