East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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