1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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