The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
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