Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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