Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
