Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
