I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
