you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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