Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
