moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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