I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
