i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The Olympian is in my bed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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