we have pet lesbian snakes
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
