You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
