I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
